With and without you
by Junesse
Summary: Booth, Temperance is dead. But is she? That is the question my friends! I do not own Bones or any of the charachters.
1. Chapter 1

"Angela, please tell me that this is a really bad joke."

At that exact moment she wanted to just break down and tell him the truth. Tell him that his partner was in protective custody and that this was so top secret that the team and Cullen were the only ones who knew the truth.

She looked at the other people in her office. Jack and Cam had an apologetic look on their face. They nodded silently, convincing her once again that there was no other way. Cullen had made it very clear that Booth couldn't know. He would go after her and he would put himself, the team, Brennan and Parker in danger.

_No matter what happened, we have to make sure that Parker is safe. His safety was the one and only reason why Bren had agreed to this absurd situation. And it was the only reason why she had agreed to **NOT** tell Booth._

Angela looked at Booth. His eyes were desperately trying to find the lie in what she had just told him.

The only thing he found were teary eyes staring back at him.

She slowly shook her head.

"Booth, Temperance is dead."

Her heart broke. She really didn't want to lie to Booth about something as serious as Bren's life. But she had no choice.

Hearing those words in that calm collected voice that was on the verge of breaking down was too much for him.

He put his head in his hands to hide the tears he could no longer hold back. She gently rubbed his back, while she looked at the others. Cam had tears in her eyes, she knew how much Seeley cared for his partner. Jacks eyes were brimming with tears. Angela knew how guilty he felt about this whole thing.

He looked back up at her.

"Ange, what the hell happened??? I was only gone for 48 hours!!!" He asked, trying to choke back the tears.

She took a deep unsteady breath and prepared herself mentally to tell Booth what had happened over the past 48 hours.

"Booth, after you left, she spend the entire day in the lab. I left the lab at 7 p.m. and she was still there. I asked her if she wanted to go out with me."

Angela chuckled.

"She said that there were a lot of things that she'd rather be doing and that were a lot more productive. So I left her alone. When I came back in yesterday morning she was still there."

Booth faintly smiled. He wasn't surprised that she still had been there.

_She'd probably slept a couple of hours on the couch in her office, before she continued to work._

Angela continued.

"I was supposed to meet Jack in the harbor that day to go out on a fishing trip with him and I asked her if she wanted to come with me. She said that she didn't feel like it and that she would impose."

Angela stopped to wipe a tear away, she started to sob. She couldn't continue this, breaking his heart by telling him that Bren was dead.

Jack noticed her distraught appearance and walked over to her.

_If she's not strong enough to do this by herself I will help her._

He took over and continued.

"So, as the good friend that she is, she called me to ask if it was okay if Dr. B would accompany us. I knew how much she was affected by your absence and I thought it would be a good idea to distract her. So I told Ange she should bring Dr. B with her. And she did. Everything went really well… at first. We were having a lot of fun. Until… Oh god, I really should have seen it coming… If I had than…"

Angela squeezed Jacks hand and decided to finish their sad tale herself. It was the least she owed Booth.

"We hit a reef, Booth. One of the sails was moved by the shock and she was knocked of the boat and in to the water. Jack immediately dove in after her, but he couldn't find her. While he kept trying, I called for the coast guard. They arrived really quickly."

She took a deep breath and looked at Booth with tears in her eyes.

"We searched for hours Booth. But… we couldn't find her."

Her voice was high pitched as she desperately tried to control her voice.

"The current was to strong, it… it must have pulled her under and away from the boat. She didn't even… She didn't even surface once after falling in the water…"

By now everyone in the room was crying. Crying for Booth, whose heart was slowly breaking and crying because they all remembered the fearful hours that they had spent, searching for her before Cullen showed up to tell them what was really going on.

"So, they haven't found her body yet?"

Hope shone through in Booths words.

"Ange, how can you be sure that she isn't still alive??? We all know she's a good swimmer. Maybe she surfaced a bit further and… and… and we just haven't found her yet."

Hodgins spoke up. His voice was determined and strong.

"No, Booth. She **IS** dead. Not only did we search for hours, but **BECAUSE** of the strong current the Coast Guard searched in a perimeter of twenty miles, Booth. **TWENTY** miles. If she would've still been alive, we would have found her."

Booth stood up.

"Booth, where are you…"

"No, Angela. I need to be alone. I need to think."

He turned around and left.

Angela started to cry again. Jack pulled her into a hug.

"I'm sorry Jack. I know we have to do this. But that doesn't mean that I have to like it."

He soothingly rubbed her arms while he said:

"I know, Ange. I feel horrible to. We just broke his heart."

Cam spoke up.

"He is going to kill us when he finds out the truth."

But Booth was oblivious to their conversation as he quickened his pace and made his way over to her office. He seated himself on the couch and allowed himself to let reality sink in.

_She's gone. _

_She's not coming back. _

_She'll never sit on this couch again._

_She'll never argue with me again. _

_She'll never…_

He couldn't think anymore.

He couldn't breathe anymore.

He just broke down.

He curled up in a ball on her couch and cried himself to a deep dreamless sleep.

That's how Angela found him an hour later. She walked up to him, draped a blanket over his sleeping form. Before she walked out, she gently pressed a kiss on his lips and whispered: "I'm so sorry, Booth."

* * *

Jack walked into her office.

She sat on her couch, deep in thought.

"It's not fair. It's just not fair, Jack! Why can't Cullen see that Booth is probably the only one who really **NEEDS TO KNOW** that she is alive??? He is already falling apart."

She turned to look at him.

"He can't fall apart. The only reason she agreed to go into hiding alone is so that Booth could focus on protecting Parker. So that he wouldn't have to worry about her to. But how can Booth protect Parker when he is grieving for Brennan?"

Those last words came out in a high pitched voice. Hodgins quickly pulled his sobbing girlfriend into his arms.

"Shhh, Ange, shhh. He doesn't know yet that Parker is in danger. When Cullen tells him, he will do what we expect him to do."

She gave him a quizzical look.

"Which is?"

"Allowing Parker and Rebecca to go into protective custody too and he will focus on catching whoever is making those threats so Parker can come back home."

He soothed her.

She sighed and buried herself even deeper in her boyfriends comforting arms.

"I know Jack, but why is Cullen so hell bent on keeping the truth from Booth?"

He pulled her even closer and answered:

"I don't know Ange. I don't have an answer for you."

"But I do."

They both looked up in surprise when they heard the voice of Deputy Director Cullen.

* * *

Cullen entered her office and said:

"Where is Agent Booth?"

Jack quickly replied:

"Asleep on the couch in her office. Don't worry, if he's coming over here we'll now it before he even sees you're here."

Cullen said down next to Angela and said:

"We received two letters. The first one was a threat against Dr. Brennan. It stated that Booth had to pay for all the things he did in the army. And that it was only fair to take her away from him. It also said and I quote: "We will do our very best to try and inflict the exact amount off pain on her that he has inflicted on others."

He paused.

"It is much more likely that we'll be able to catch him when he goes after Parker. I know this sounds harsh but think about it. In the other letter, the one that threatened Parker, pain or torture was never mentioned. It simply said that Booth needed to pay for all of his actions in the army and that it was only fair to take Parker away. They are out to hurt Booth. By killing his son. But they have no desire to make it painful. They'll try to make it quick, so quick that Booth won't be able to stop it. But if we put Parker into protective custody, there is no way that they will get close enough to kill him quickly. And if he knew that they are also after his partner to kill her slowly and painfully, his attention will be divided between the two of them. He won't be focused. Both Parker and Dr. Brennan would be in a lot more danger."

Cullen stood up and said:

"That is why he can't know, Miss Montenegro. It's a lot easier to protect both Parker if Booths attention is only fixed on him and not on his partner. Besides, we hope they won't go after Temperance since her death is currently one of the top stories in each news show and on the pages of each newspaper, magazine and tabloid of the country. If Booth knew she was still alive, he would never willingly let her out of his sight. We are merely making this choice in his place."

She mumbled:

"Well it feels wrong."


	2. Chapter 2

Booth shot up.

He was sweating, his heart was racing and his ears were ringing.

_Oh, god, please tell me it was just a dream._

_Any moment she's going to walk into this office with a million remarks about me sleeping in HER office in the middle of the day._

He watched the door as if his life depended on it.

"Come on, Bones!" His whisper was desperate.

As the moments passed, Booths desperation grew.

"It's real..."

He closed his eyes to force the tears back.

He slumped down on her couch again.

Although he had slept for over an hour, he felt more exhausted than before his nap.

He had been dreaming about her.

He couldn't contain his tears anymore when the nightmare kept running through his mind.

_He saw her standing on the boat with Hodgins and Angela. The boat hit the reef. He saw her body being hit by one of the sails. Everything happened in slow motion. He tried desperately to get to push her out of the way, but he was too late. There was nothing he could do except watching her fly overboard. She screamed. _

The scream echoed in his ears. He clutched his head in his hands, willing it to stop, but it was a futile attempt.

_He jumped after her. He could see her. She was fighting the strong current. But it didn't work. No matter how hard she fought, she couldn't make it to the surface. He reached out for her, but he was to far away. He swam furiously to reach her. But the water kept pulling her under. A few moments later she was gone. _

"Booth?"

He felt Angela's hand on his knee. He opened his eyes and there she was. She sat in front of him.

The look in her eyes was one of worry.

_This is the look she used to give my Bones._

"She's really gone?"

His voice croaked and Angela could see his dispair.

She merely nodded and threw herself in his arms.

"I'm sorry, Booth. I'm so sorry!"

Booth clung to her as if he would never let go.

She tried to calm him down.

"Shh, Seeley, shhh."

Knowing that he was in for another shock when he would talk to Cullen, she started to rock both of them back and forth.

After a few minutes she pulled back.

Booth reluctantly let go of her.

"Booth,sweetie..." She grabbed his hands thightly in hers. That made him look up at her.

"Ange, what's wrong?" he asked, his voice still thick from the tears.

"Cullen is here. He needs to talk to you. Booth..." She looked up at him. "I'm sorry Booth but it's bad... very bad."

"Miss Montenegro is right." Cullen said as he entered her office.

Suddenly he felt a rage towards Cullen. He had no right to be in her office.

_You didn't know her. Only Ange and me have any right to be so close to her._

He took a deep breath to pull himself together.

"Good, Ange, can we talk in your office?"

She simply nodded. Booth walked over and waved his hand to indicate to Cullen that he would follow.

He was relieved when he saw Cullen leave his office. However it was very shortlived.

"Sir, why are you here? I mean, I could've come to your office."

"This couldn't wait Booth."

Both men entered Angela's empty office and sat down.

"My condolences about your partner, Agent Booth."

Those words almost pushed Booth over the top his mind was raging.

_DON'T you talk about her! Especially when you don't mean it. She was just a squint to you!_

Instead he simply replied: "Thank you, sir."

Both men were silent for a few minutes.

Booth's eyes kept wandering over everything in Angela's office, trying desperately to keep his mind of off Bones.

Cullen on the other hand was fixated on his Agent. _I knew this would hit him hard, but this hard. I hope Miss Montenegro is wrong. He is Parkers and Dr. Brennans only hope. He HAS to find out who is after them._

A few moments later Cullen coughed and said:

"Maybe it's best if I just get to the point."

Booth only nodded.

When Cullen was about to tell him about the threat that had been made against his son, Hodgins walked in the door.

"You have something for me?" Cullen handed him the piece of paper. This caught Booths interest.

"What is that?"

Hodgins turned to Cullen.

"You haven't told him yet?" Hodgins sounded furious. All of a sudden Booths chest tightened.

Cullen shook his head. Booths fear grew.

_Something is very very wrong._

When both men just stood there silently his fear turned into anger.

He got up, walked over to Hodgins and snatched the piece of paper out of his hands. He started to read the note.

**Dear Booth, **

**I suppose I knew that somehow, someway this note would make it's way to you. **

**We both now that you're not the person you claim to be. You have a dark side Agent Booth. It's not because you pretend to be the strong FBI Agent who fights for justice that your past will stop haunting you. **

**Because it never will. We both now that. **

**YOU murdered people. **

**YOU took people away who were important to ****others. **

**It's only fair you will know the pain of loss. It's only fair that we take Parker.**

His heart sank into the pit of his stomach when he read that sentence. His hand started to tremble and he had to hold the piece in both of his hands to be able to continue to read.

**You can try and protect him, but YOU KNOW that you can't protect people from everything. You know how quickly people can be ripped away from the ones who love them.**

**It's only fair you lose the one who is important to you. Because I lost my loved ones at your hand, yours will die at mine.**

Booth kept staring at the piece of paper in his hands.

He didn't notice the looks that were being exchanged between Hodgins and Cullen.

He didn't notice Hodgins leaving and returning a few minutes later with a very worried artist.

Angela's heart simply shattered when she saw Booth standing there. His hands were trembling and he was looking as if the piece of paper in his hands was his entire world. She slowly made her way over to him and gently took the piece of paper from him. She gave it to Hodgins. Both men quickly picked up on her intentions and left her office.

She didn't say anything, she just put her arms around him.

Booth barely noticed the men leave the office, but the feeling of Angela's comforting arms brought him out of his deep dark thoughts.

"I can't... I can't lose my baby boy too, Angela... I..."

"Shh, let's sit down, kay?" She gently guided him to her couch and they sat down.

They both started crying.

Booth cried for what had happened to his partner and for what could happen to his son and Angela cried for the FBI Agent whose heart had been cruelly broken twice in one day.

* * *

**Let me know what you think!**


	3. Chapter 3

Brennan sighed.

It was a miserable sigh.

She **WAS **miserable.

Her heart was with Booth and she could feel it break, because she knew that by now they would've told him about her "death" and by doing that surely they would've broken his heart. The guilt was practically eating her alive. The urge to call Booth and tell him the truth was simply overwhelming. And if she would've had a phone, she would've called.

_But still_, she thought, _even** if** I had a phone, I probably couldn't use it seeing how I am in the middle of goddamn nowhere!!!_

She sighed again. She was close to tears. She dropped her head in her hands and sighed again.

She didn't want to put her partner through this. She remembered vividly what it felt like to lose someone so close to you.

She swallowed.

"And I remember the pain of betrayal all too well when I found out that he was alive and always had been."

"Oh god!"

She chuckled.

"I don't even believe in you and yet your the one I call out to."

_Booth would probably pray if things were the other way around._

She stared across the room. At first she didn't notice anything, until her gaze fell onto her laptop.

"That's it!!!"

She quickly stood up, got her laptop going and started typing. She could feel the weight slipping of of her shoulders.

* * *

Booth hadn't moved from his spot on the couch since Cullen and Hodgins had left him and Angela alone in her office.

"Uh, Booth?" Angela spoke softly. He didn't react.

"Booth."

She tried a bit louder and it worked. He turned his head and nodded. Angela saw the tears in his eyes and decided to leave the topic of Bren's"death" alone. That way he could focus on Parker's safety.

"The paperwork to put Parker and Rebecca in protective custody. I... I've already filled it out for you, you just have to sign it."

She looked a bit uncomfortable_. _

_God I hope I didn't cross some line by filling out the forms._

"Thanks Angela." He whispered.

"Anytime Booth, anytime."

She was about to just give in and hug her favorite FBI stud again when they heard Hodgins his voice throughout the Medico-Legal lab.

He was swearing like a sailor.

Booth and Angela looked at each other and quickly made their way to his office.

"Jack, Sweetie!!! What in godsname is going on in here???"

"Damnit!!!"

He looked up and said:

"It's useless!!!"

"There are absolutely NO particulates on this thing whatsoever, you can buy the paper in almost any local supermarket and the same goes for the pen that was used to write this down."

"Damnit!!!"

"Jack Hodgins, will you stop swearing in my lab?" Cams voice was stern and left no room for any argument.

"Now will someone please tell me what is going on in here?"

Angela thought one of the two men in her company would answer. But when she saw the pain so clearly in Booths eyes, that she could feel it in her heart and when her ears picked up on Jacks silent mumbling, she realized neither of them were planning on answering so she did it herself.

"The paper is clean, Cam. There is nothing useful on it."

Cam sighed.

"Well maybe not for us. But the damn thing must have been written by someone right?" That statement earned her a look from Booth.

"I'm just saying, it's not because the resident bug and slime guy doesn't find anything, that there is nothing to be found."

Hodgins snorted, clearly he was offended by what she had just said. Angela quickly threw him a look that meant so much as: _Don't you dare start swearing again, mister! _So he didn't.

"Cam, what do you MEAN?" Booths voice was angry and on the verge of snapping.

"I mean that you should let Sweets take a look at it. After all he could makea profile. He could help you narrow down your suspect list."

And with that she turned around and left.

Booth flipped open his phone and called Sweets.

"Voicemail! Just great!"

* * *

It was midnight.

Booth was lying on HER couch in HER office.

He couldn't go home. He had tried. Around 8 p.m. when everyone else was headed home, Cam and Angela had managed to convince him to go home too. But when he had arrived there, he had been bombarded with the few memories of her at his apartment. And it had made him realize something.

_I can't feel her presence here._

_Not like I can at the lab._

_Her lab._

_Our lab._

So he turned around, left and drove straight back to the Jeffersonian and made his way back into her office. There were a lot more memories here and they had unleashed all of the horrible feelings that this day had brought him.

* * *

Now, after almost 4 hours of crying, he found himself lying on her couch, waiting for sleep to claim him. But it didn't. He sighed and he got up.

"I should be doing something, anything. But really how much can I do without my team here with me?"

"Without HER here with me? Nothing!!!"

He sighed and was about to lay back down when he saw the computer.

_Wait a minute!!! _

_That is it! _

_I could start on my suspect list. Once I have my list, I have a place to start searching. I'll interrogate every single one of them. I can have their handwriting compared to the note. _

_Surely there is someone brilliant enough around here to compare the handwriting to the note!_

He got up and turned on the computer.

Unknowingly he logged in with Brennan's office account.

* * *

Brennan felt a lot better. She had spent hours behind her laptop. She had decided to start a diary. She had never done that before, but if she couldn't talk to Booth in person, maybe she could at least tell him what she needed to say, what he needed to know. She was about to turn her computer off, when she saw that someone had logged in on her computer in her office.

_Who would still be awake at this hour and be in my office?_

She could only reach one conclusion.

"Booth." She whispered.

"What am I going to do?"

"Should I talk to him?"

Silently thanking Angela for picking out a screen name, Ladybug (because Angela liked them so much), she logged on.

* * *

Booth almost jumped ten feet in the air when the computer, rather loudly, informed him that "Ladybug" had come online. He ignored it and went back to making his suspect list. Only moments later a new message informed him that Ladybug requested a conversation with him.

_Well with her,_ he thought, _not me, after all this is_ _her computer not mine._

So he quickly clicked the refuse button and went back to making his list.

* * *

"Oh come on!!!" She whispered, she had to make sure the agents who were protecting her didn't know what she was doing.

She sighed again because she instantly realized what Booth was thinking.

_He thinks that it is probably very rude to answer me since he thinks I'm one of __my friends._

It sounded a bit strange in her head but it was pure logic, so she didn't even give it a second thought.

All of the sudden something else caught her eye. Conspiracy Lady had logged in. She was relieved. Conspiracy Lady had been Ange's nickname since she'd started dating Jack. Shortly after that Angela had given her her new nickname. She clicked on it so she could talk to her. It didn't take long for Angela to respond.

**Conspiracy Lady: Sweetie!!! What do you think you're doing??? You shouldn't be online!**

**Ladybug: I know...**

**Ladybug: Can I ask you something?**

**Conspiracy Lady: Sure you can, sweetie, but make it quick and get your a** back offline!**

**Ladybug: Someone has logged on to my computer in my office. I think it's HIM. What do you think?**

**Conspiracy Lady: Well off course it is HIM sweetie! I broke his heart today and I didn't like it. Are you going to talk to him?**

**Ladybug: I already tried, but he declined me...**

**Conspiracy Lady: TYPICAL! Sweetie, try again until he accepts okay?**

**Ladybug: Thanks XXX Bye Conspiracy Lady**

**Conspiracy Lady: WAIT!!!**

**Ladybug: Why?**

**Conspiracy Lady: Just talk okay, but don't TELL him ANYTHING! You know what I mean!!!**

**Ladybug: !!! You know I wouldn't!!! But thanks anyway XXX Bye!**

**Conspiracy Lady: Good luck, Ladybug! XXX Bye!**

Brennan saw her best friend go offline and was relieved to see that she, well Booth, was still online.

This time she decided to send him a message instead of a request, but what?

_I should've asked her what to say. What can I say to him? _

_He thinks that I'm just someone who wants to talk with me. Wait a minute... that is exactly what I should do. Pretend to be one of my friends who really needs to talk with me._

So she gathered all her courage and wrote him a message.

She closed her eyes, mumbled: "Please work!" and hit send.

* * *

I realise that it sounds a bit strange that she would have her laptop with her, but this is Bren we're talking about. If she's forced to stay out the lab and go into hiding, she would at least want to work on one of her books and do something productive.

Let me know what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

She closed her eyes, mumbled: "Please work!" and hit send.

* * *

Booth was once again surprised when the loud noise announced the arrival of a message.

Without even thinking about it, he opened it and read the message he knew was meant for his partner.

**Ladybug: Come on, Tempe!!! I know you're there! So stop ignoring your favorite person and TALK TO ME!!! XXX We both now you want to... XXX**

Booth didn't know what to do.

_Who the hell is this? Is it a man or a woman? God, I really hope it is not a man. __I can't deal with one of her "guy friends with benefits" right now. _

But he decided that it would be rude to ignore whoever it was so he politely replied:

**Dr. Brennan: I'm sorry. I'm not Dr. Brennan, I'm her partner.**

**Ladybug: Oh, well could you go get her for me it's kind of important?**

Booth felt the tears stinging his eyelids. Seeing how he was alone he didn't see the point in hiding them so he let them fall.

**Dr. Brennan: I'm sorry to say this, but I can't go get her.**

This time it was Brennan herself who was getting agitated.

"Come on Booth." She whispered. " If you don't tell me I'm dead I can't help you."

Normally such strange thoughts would've bothered her, but right now she couldn't care less. So she replied:

**Ladybug: Aside from Angela,**

**I'm her best buddy. Whenever she can't talk to Ange she talks to me. So could you please go get her for me? Like I said, it's important.**

Booth was annoyed and upset.

_I really can't deal with another Michael Stires... __Especially not now._

The thought that some other guy wanted to talk to HIS Bones was eating him alive.

**Dr. Brennan: I'm sorry, Sir. But like I said, I can't go get her! So if you'll please excuse me.**

Brennan's reply came quickly.

**Ladybug: Please don't go.**

Booth hesitated. It sounded desperate. When he saw there was more to come he decided to wait.

**Ladybug: I'm not a sir, I'm a woman. I met Tempe in college, we were in the same class together. Something is wrong isn't there, Seeley?**

Booth was taken aback by the use of his first name.

**Dr. Brennan: How do you know my name?**

**Ladybug: Well that is easy! She talks about her partner all the time. You are ****her partner, aren't you?**

**Dr. Brennan: Yes I am.**

**Ladybug: So you are Seeley Booth, right?**

Booth just sat there surprised by her answer."She talks about me? Her partner?"

That revelation triggered a new wave of tears he desperately tried to fight.

**Ladybug: Seeley, please answer my question.**

Booth was confused.

**Dr. Brennan: What question?**

Brennan groaned. _Please don't play stupid with me, Booth!!!_

**Ladybug: Something is wrong with her, isn't there? Please, Seeley, tell me. I ****know you won't lie. Tempe told me you never do. **

**So please don't prove her ****wrong. What is wrong with her?**

He was surprised by how good this woman seems to know them.

_Who the hell is she?!?!?!?_

**Ladybug: Seeley... You're scaring me. What is wrong with her? Please tell me...**

Brennan was getting frustrated. "Come on, Booth!!! Just tell me I'm dead."

**Dr. Brennan: I don't know if I should tell you this. No offense, but she has ****never mentioned you to me before so I don't know if I can trust you or not.**

"Damn it, Booth!" Brennan sighed. _Why do you have to make everything so hard!_

**Ladybug: Ask Angela. She knows me. She knows you can trust me.**

**Dr. Brennan: Well yeah, I suppose I could but it is passed midnight. And I will not ****wake up Angela to ask her if I can trust someone in my partners list of ****contacts.**

"Urgh!!! Booth!!!" The urge to strangle him was increasing with the minute until she found the perfect argument.

**Ladybug: Well, Seeley, why don't you trust Tempe?**

Booth was shocked.

_I do trust her! I always have!!!_

**Dr. Brennan: What the hell is that supposed to mean???**

**Ladybug: Well if I'm in her list of contacts than she must surely trust me ****right? I mean how many contacts are there in her list anyway?**

Booth thought about it. _She has a good point. If Bones added her to this list, __than she obviously trusted this Ladybug person._

He quickly checked the list. The only ones in there where those of her... no his team and this Ladybug person.

**Dr. Brennan: After looking at the list I've come to the conclusion that she ****trusted you and so will I.**

**Ladybug: Good! Now tell me. What is going on? Why are YOU in her office in ****the middle of the night and not her? Usually she is online at this hour.**

**Something is wrong I can feel it.**

Booth was still having second thoughts about this. He didn't want to tell her that the woman that he had been falling in love with was gone.

The moment he told someone was the point of no return.

It would make her death real.

And he just wasn't sure if he was ready to face the world without her.

**Ladybug: Please Seeley, I need to know... Is she okay?**

That last message brought a new wave of tears to his eyes. He knew that the truth would hurt this woman if she was a friend of Temperance. But he also realized that not knowing was even worse. So he finally found the courage and told her.

**Dr. Brennan: No she isn't. She is dead. She drowned.**

_Finally!!! It was about freaking time! _Brennan thought.

**Ladybug: Please tell me you are joking? This is some kind of cruel joke because you don't trust me, right?**

Booth almost laughed at the use of words.

He had used the same words when he had first been told by Angela. But the situation was to painful to laugh. So he didn't. He simply wrote back.

**Dr. Brennan: No! It is not a joke! I would NEVER EVER joke about my partners life like that! She is... was... IS important to me.**

Brennan was taken aback by his words. She was also shocked by the desperation in which he had clearly wrote them.

**Ladybug: I'm sorry.**

Booth sighed. _She doesn't need to feel sorry. It's not her fault._

**Dr. Brennan: Yeah so am I.**

**Ladybug: God! I'm going to miss her so much.**

Brennan hesitated but wrote it down anyway.

**Ladybug: I miss her already.**

Booth sighed again. _I know the feeling._

**Dr. Brennan: I know the feeling. And to top things of...**

He had meant to press the erase button, instead he had hit the enter key.

He groaned.

**Ladybug: Oh my god, there is more?!?!?**

Booth decided to throw caution into the wind, but just not completely.

Not yet.

_If she really is a close friend of Bones, she must know about her childhood._

**Dr. Brennan: Yes, and I am willing to tell you. But first I need to make sure you ****are who you claim to be.**

Brennan almost giggled. _I AM certainly NOT__ who I claim to be, but I'll play __along._

**Ladybug: Off course... What ever you want to know.**

**Dr. Brennan: What do you know about her parents?**

Brennan's giggling stopped. She felt extremely flattered. Still overprotective of me, even know that I'm dead he has the urge to protect me.

**Ladybug: She told me everything. Like I said, I'm best friends with her. I ****know that her parents left her on Christmas day when she was fifteen. I even ****know that she found her mom in something called Limbo(?) and that her father ****contacted her shortly after that. I also know that her brother abandoned her ****and that they got closer again when she found her mother. Do I have to ****continue???**

All of a sudden Booth felt at ease. It was obvious that this woman knew his partner.

_And if Bones trusted her, than so can I._

**Dr. Brennan: No you don't have to continue. It's obvious that you were good ****friends.**

**Ladybug: So you'll tell me what is going on?**

Booth doubted for a minute but made up his mind an answered.

**Dr. Brennan: Yes I'll tell you.**

Brennan almost shrieked! _It is working. I have gained his trust!!! Now I can try __to make him feel better._

**Ladybug: Thank you for trusting me. Please tell me what is bothering you, Seeley.**

Those words brought on a new wave of tears.

**Dr. Brennan: I just don't know what to do. I wish she was here. I need her ****help. **

**I NEED to talk to her. I just need her here with me. She would know what ****to do. She would see the logic in it and force me to see it. She could help me f****ind this bastard, if only she was here. **

Brennan felt her heart break for him. The despair in his words were obvious even to her.

**Dr. Brennan: I need her. Here. With ME. I need her here with me. I can't do this without her...**

Brennan could feel the tears run down her cheeks.

_I have to help him!!!_

**Ladybug: What do you need her help with?**

Immediately she knew that she went to far. She tried to set it straight.

**Ladybug: I'm sorry. That was very rude. You don't know me. You don't have to ****tell me... It's just, I suppose I'm used to drag answers out of her. You don't ****have to answer that. I'm sorry, Seeley.**

She bit her fingernails.

_God I hope this doesn't sound like me. I tried to __sound like Angela but I'm not sure it's working. Did I even used the right __expression??? _

She was starting to panic, but calmed down when she read his reply.

**Dr. Brennan: I know what you mean. I used to have to drag the answers out of ****her as well. **

**Dr. Brennan: Not lately though. She seemed to be opening up to me. I just need her advice and support.** **Someone is threatening my son. And we are working on a plan, but I don't know if it'll be enough to save him. I can't lose my little boy to… I wouldn't know what to do if I lost both of them.**

Booth choked up.

_What the hell am I doing??? _

_Why am I confiding in a stranger???_

**Ladybug: This may not be my place Seeley, but I'm going to tell you anyway.**

That statement reminded him so much of Bones.

_She would always tell me what she thought, whether I wanted to hear it or not._

**Ladybug: She once told me that she only had faith in one thing and that is you Seeley.**

**She said that she knew you were going to save her. And you did. Twice. That's what I think she would say. She would tell you not to doubt yourself.**

She had thought really hard about whether or not to send the last reply.

She'd decided to just do it, but after doing it she felt stupid and vulnerable.

**Ladybug: Listen, it's late. I have to go. Bye Seeley Booth.**

And she logged off. She didn't shut her computer off instead she opened her diary and started to right everything down about what had happened in the last hour and

a half.

* * *

Booth didn't know anymore how to feel. He felt abandoned. It felt good to talk to someone who seemed to know Brennan so well. But now that she was gone, he was thrown back into the harsh dark reality of his situation.

Parker was in danger and his partner was dead.

Sure, her remark had helped and it was probably exactly what Bones would have said, but she hadn't been the one to say it.

He yawned, shut the computer down and decided to have another go at getting some sleep.

The moment he hit the cushions on the couch he fell asleep. Unfortunately this time his sleep was filled with nightmares.

**He could barely see. The water of the ocean was dark. He was swimming ****furiously. **

**_I have to find her. I have to find her. I have to find her. _**

**But he ****couldn't find her. He would always find Parker instead. After he found Parker and ****brought him to safety he would dive in the water again.**

**After a few moments ****he would feel another body, but when he surfaced it always turned out to be ****Parker, never Bones.**

* * *

Let me know what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

"Angela, why are you still up? It's already midnight... Shouldn't you be getting rest?" Hodgins was worried about his girlfriend. He knew how much it pained her that she had to lie to Booth. He walked over to her, she was lying face down on the floor of the kitchen. "Ange, look at me?" He sat down beside her and started to rub gentle soothing circles on her back. "Baby... Please look at me..."

When she finally looked up at him, he saw her red rimmed eyes and the dried tear stains on her cheeks. "Jack... I can't do this... Booth has a right to know... What if he doesn't forgive her? What if...?" She choked on her words and Hodgins pulled her closer.

He softly whispered into her ear: "Hey, Ange... Shhh, Bren forgave him after the whole Pam fiasco... He WILL forgive her..."

Angela shook her head. "Oh Jack don't you see??? Bren never forgave him... She just compartmentalized and forgot the whole thing ever happened... But that's not what Booth will do... He won't understand... Their entire relationship will be ruined..."

Hodgins didn't know what to say, so he gently picked his girlfriend up off the floor and carried her to the bedroom.

* * *

Booth woke up as a the sunlight gently filled her office. He turned around and pulled the blanket over his head, hiding from the world. He kept his eyes shut as he remembered the nightmares that had filled his sleep. When the horror of having Parker's little body in his arms finally became to much to bare, he threw back the woollen blanket and sat up straight.

He wasn't surprised to find Angela standing in the open door of her office.

"Can I come in?"

She was wringing her hands and she didn't look at him. Booth immediately knew that Angela was suffering almost as bad as he was.

_Almost... At least she knew that Bones loved her. At least she knew that Bones knew that Angela loved her... Now she'll never know that I loved her too... I'll never know if she loved me..._

"Sure... Bad night?" Angela softly entered her best friends office and sank down on the couch next to him. For the first time she made eye contact.

"Yeah... I didn't sleep at all... I just kept tossing and turning... How 'bout you?"

Booth felt empty and afraid and guilty as he thought about his dreams.

_God, I hope I can keep him safe..._

"Nightmares?" Her gently voice brought him back to reality.

He nodded. "Yeah... I..." He stopped. He didn't know if it was such a good idea to talk about his nightmares.

_It will only make them feel real..._

She gently grabbed his hands in hers and squeezed them.

"You know, keeping them inside is only going to make it worse, Seeley... Please tell me... Was it about Bren?"

He looked up at her and shook his head. His eyes slowly filled with tears. "No... uhm..." He cleared his throat. "Uhm... no... it was... Parker..."

"OH Booth... I promise we will get whoever is responsible for this." She let go of his hands and threw her arms around his. She felt relieved when he hugged her back.

"I'm so sorry, Booth.... I'm so sorry..."

Booth was so overcome by his emotions that he couldn't reply, he only hugged her tighter to his chest, relieved that if only for a few seconds, he didn't feel so empty... so alone...

* * *

When they finally pulled back, Booth got up and walked over to the printer. He picked up the piece of paper and walked back to the couch. He handed over the piece of paper to Angela and said: "Could you do a background check on them? It's a list of all the people I killed as a sniper... Maybe one of them has a strong motive to go after Parker..."

Angela wiped her tears away and smiled at him. "I'll get right to it..." Before she walked out of her office she turned back and said: "You should get a copy to Sweets... Maybe he can do a profile on them or something like that..."

Booth nodded and said: "Yeah... that's a good idea... thanks Ange..." He walked to her desk and turned on the computer.

* * *

He opened the file that he had written last night and after quickly rereading it he hit Print. While the printer started to make noises, signaling that the requested document would be printed out soon, he felt a shock travel through his body when a message loudly stated that Ladybug was online. He felt torn in two, unable to decide if he could start a conversation again or not.

* * *

Brennan had a huge smile on her face when she realized that Booth was online again. Without thinking about it she quickly clicked on her own name to send her partner a message to her computer. The knowledge that he preferred to work in HER office, close to HER lab, filled her with a strange warmth.

**Ladybug: Is that you, Seeley Booth?**

Booth felt grateful that he didn't have to make the first move.

**Dr. Brennan: Yes it is. Good morning Ladybug.**

Brennan's smile grew even wider_. Even now he still takes the time to be a gentleman... Alpha Male... _But Brennan also knew her partner well enough to know that he was lying. It was defenitely NOT a good morning. He was just trying to be polite. _"Well I won't have it... How am I suppose to help him if he lies to me?"_

**Ladybug: It is not a good morning... You told me a few hours ago that your partner died... And know you tell me that it's a good morning? Are you kidding me? Did you even care about her at all?**

Brennan didn't actually like having to say that, but she also knew that Booth needed someone that he could trust... Someone who wouldn't judge him if he let his guard down. And she wanted to be that person for him... Even if she couldn't be by his side.

Booth felt a rage built inside of him._ Who the hell does this Ladybug bitch thinks she is? She doesn't know anything about me or my feelings for Bones... _

**Dr. Brennan: OFF COURSE I CARE ABOUT HER! I was just trying to be polite, but if you're going to judge me for every single word that I write, than I don't think this conversation is a good idea. Bye Ladybug...**

Booth went offline.

Brennan's eyes filled with tears when she saw him going offline. She opened the file that was titled "Diary" and wrote every little feeling that was coursing through her body down.

* * *

Booth, who still felt extremely angry, snatched the piece of paper out the printer and left the Jeffersonian. When he arrived at the Hoover Building, he immediately made his way to Sweets' office. Without knocking he entered.

Sweets was surprised when Booth just walked into his office, but when he saw the anger hidden in the Agents eyes, he decided that it would be best to let it slide.

"How can I help you, Agent Booth?"

Booth threw the piece of paper on his desk and fell down onto the couch.

Sweets picked it up and scanned through the list. " I take it you would like to know who I think would be capable of threatening your son?"

Booth simply nodded. He was preoccupied by his short conversation with Ladybug. The anger was slowly disappearing.

_It's not her fault that she is gone... I shouldn't have said that... She's just upset like me... Everyone is upset about her dead... I shouldn't have taken it out on a stranger._

Sweets who had figured out that Booth wasn't listening, sat the piece of paper down and looked at the man in front of him. His shoulders were slumped, his tie and shirt were wrinkled, his hair was a mess and he clearly hadn't shaved. This led to one conclusion. "You didn't go home last night, did you?"

Booth looked up at Sweets. "How..."

"How do I know that? Booth look at yourself... You clearly slept in those clothes and you didn't shave. You brought me a list with possible suspects and you're deep in thoughts... It's kind off obvious that you didn't go home... You slept in her office didn't you?"

Booth felt as if the air was being sucked out of him and out of the room. _I need to take control of the situation before I have a breakdown in front of Sweets._

"Sweets, I didn't come here to be analyzed. Now, can you help me or not? I have stuff to do..."

Sweets looked up at Booth and doubted. _Maybe I should just let it slide? I don't think that I can make him talk about it anyway._ So he cleared his throat and answered: "Do you have a background on them? If you do, I can probably bring your list down to a few suspects..."

Booth got up and said: "Angela is running background checks as we speak. We should head back to the Jeffersonian."

_Besides I have to apologize to someone..._


End file.
